Haunted
by dreamerdoll
Summary: JK. Dom and Kel were in love, but he died. She had been alone for five years, cold and different. Then, Joren enters her life. Sucky summary, I know. C3 Updated!
1. Prologue

Haunted

Summary: J/K. Dom and Kel were in love, but he died. She had been alone for five years, cold and different. Then, Joren enters her life. Sucky summary, I know.  
  
Disclaimer: The lyrics belong to Amy Lee and the characters belong to Tamora Pierce. Sadly, I am not either of these people, so none of this is mine.  
  
_Long lost words whisper slowly to me _

_Still cant find what keeps me here_  
  
She doesn't know why she stays with him. In some way, she loves him. Love. It was something she hadn't had for a long time, something that she didn't understand. Or didn't until him.  
  
_When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
  
I know you're still there_  
  
She'd been empty inside for years. Ever since Dom had died, her heart had been like the lake in winter: frigid and biting. The lake, however, would thaw come spring. But she didn't. All of her friends expected her to return back to her normal self, but she hadn't for almost five years. They had given up hope.  
  
_Watching me wanting me _

_I can feel you pull me down_  
  
He would watch her from far away. His piercing blue eyes followed her everywhere. He wanted her; there was no denying it. She was beautiful. And so cold. He had hope of thawing her out. He knew that she would do the same to him.  
  
_Fearing you loving you  
  
I wont let you pull me down_  
  
She was afraid of him. She loved him, in a strange way. He was so perfect, sitting there. She knew him, though they hardly talked. She could see into his heart. She was afraid of her feelings. She refused to fall in love, to let him pull her down.  
  
_Hunting you I can smell you alive _

_Your heart pounding in my head_  
  
She could feel him, everywhere she went. She wondered what he thought about. How he felt. She knew him, but she wanted to know everything. She could see outlines when she looked in his eyes, nothing past that. She wanted to see the whole picture, know the whole story.  
  
_Watching me wanting me _

_I can feel you pull me down  
_  
He never stopped watching her. He never stopped wanting her. But what he felt was more than lust. He felt a strange emotion. Already, he had begun to thaw. He was in love. She was pulling him off his ice throne.  
  
_Saving me raping me _

_Watching me_  
  
He raped her. Raped her of the ice that held her together, the mask that she hid all her pain behind. He had taken it with just one kiss. She hated him for that. Yet, he had saved her. Saved her from the life she had condemned herself to.

* * *

I know, short and sucky. For some reason, I have been feeling rather depressed, and started listening to this song. (I always listen to Evanescence when I feel like that [not very often, by the way]) And this just stuck out as a K/J, for some reason.


	2. Chapter One

Haunted

Chapter One: Nowhere to be Seen   
  
Kel sat in her rooms, giggling as Neal and Merric had a pillow war. It was quite funny to watch the two knights do this.  
  
Suddenly, a knock sounded on the door. She pulled it open, and smiled to herself as the boys continued to fight behind her, oblivious to the other person.  
  
A rather tired looking messenger stood at the door. "Lady Knight, I regret to inform you that your fiance, Sergeant Domitian of Masbolle of Third Company, was slain in battle June 12, 463 H.E. He was killed while leading his men into attack against a large party of Scanra troops."  
  
Her face was blank, void of all emotion. She felt blank. Empty.  
  
She heard her friends behind her go silent; she heard Neal's pillow drop to the floor. The room was perfectly quiet, and the noise, soft as it may be normally, was deafening.  
  
The messenger left with a bow. Kel, however, couldn't move. She felt frozen in time, and all she could think of was his last words to her. "I will never leave you."  
  
Arms wrapped themselves around her, and she was pulled back into Neal's warm chest. They stood that way for long minutes. Something hot hit her arm and rolled down to her hand. Neal was crying. Something she could not do. Corpses didn't cry. And that's what she felt like. A hollow body, empty of the soul it had once carried.   
  
She jolted awake. Even five years later, that memory stood plain in her mind, haunting her. The pain she had felt that day was still as sharp as it had been. It felt like a knife forever embedded in her heart.  
  
It was almost an hour before dawn, she knew. This was the time she was awoken every morning by that memory. That nightmare. As she had become accustomed to it, she had begun to get up about that time each morning to practice her glaive. Her day began like that every morning, and had all those long years. Every day followed a specific pattern, a pattern that she refused to break. It was like that if she broke her routine, she herself would collapse. One thing in her life had to be orderly to keep her together, and that was it. It had to be the same every day.  
  
After doing the complicated twists and turns of her pattern dance, she made her way down the familiar path to the mess hall. Though several people were already in the hallway, she greeted no one. They didn't acknowledge her either. Since his death, she had become emotionless and cold. She had hid inside herself, and no one wanted to be around her. Her friends stuck by her, however. A lot of times, they would get frustrated, angry, with her. Yet they were still there, talking with her, joking with her, hoping to see some shadow the person she used to be. But it had never come. They waited, day after day. It wasn't there. Year after year. It was still nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Yes, I know, very short. Expect it from this story. However, I shall soon have the next chapter up. And it will actually include some conversation. And yes, Nolee, most likely some Joren.


	3. Chapter Two

'Kay, first, I wanted to apologize to everyone for taking so long, and thank all my nice reviewers. Anyway, I hope everyone likes! Or at least doesn't consider killing me for not updating in so long then posting something so extremely sucky!

Also, this chapter is dedicated to Nolee. Thanks for the awesome reviews, and for not complaining about my lack of updating as I do to you. And to make up for taking so long, I put some Joren in this chapter, just as I had promised! Enjoy!

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Chapter Two:

Joren watched her from across the hall, just as he always had. For the past six years, ever since they had gotten that fateful news, that was all he had done. Watch. Watch her heart turn to ice. She was intriguing really. She seemed so cold, and...amazing. Perfect, like an ice queen.

He watched her from across the hall, wondering. What was she thinking about, behind that cold façade? He wished he could talk to her, learn about her. He wanted to understand her, he wanted to know her...all of her. Why couldn't he just go over and talk to her? Why couldn't he manage to say something, anything to her?

Joren shook his head, defeat plain in his eyes. He had this conversation with himself every day, and every day, he lost. Why couldn't he just do it?

Because she's a girl that you've always loved. Because you're afraid of getting hurt, or worse, hurting her.

He shook his head, knowing that he was right. But gods, why did that little voice always have to be right? He hated it!

He pushed himself away from the table with a growl of frustration and left the mess, not looking over his shoulder to see what she was doing. He didn't want to see the glazed eyes that didn't seem to see anything, that beautiful face, blank of all emotion.

He walked down the wall to his room, pushed his door open. Before he could close it however, he heard the footsteps of someone coming in behind him. Turning slowly, Joren's eyes widened in shock as he saw who stood there. 

"Yes?" He raised a perfect blonde eyebrow.  
  
She didn't do anything. Just watched him. He squirmed under her watchful gaze. How did this one girl manage to unnerve him this much? Gods!

"What?" He snapped impatiently, tired of those blank eyes staring at him, piercing him.

"Why have you been watching me all the time?" her voice was empty. He shivered at hearing it. Before, when they were younger, she had never sounded like this. You could always just catch the twinge of anger or fear, of some type of emotion, even when she was hiding it. Now, it just seemed as if nothing was there.

"You interest me." He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

She laughed. It was a real laugh, not some empty fake one used for her friends. It seemed, to her, the first time she had ever laughed. And in a way, it was. The first time since he had left.

A smile split across Joren's face. She was finally beginning to melt. Gods, he was happy. Not only was he speaking to her, he had managed something not even her friends had accomplished, in all their five years!

She continued to laugh. She held her sides, as if her ribs hurt from this activity her body hadn't done in so long. It felt, strangely enough, nice.

"I interest you?" She laughed harder.

He shook his head, an amused smile flashing across his face. She wouldn't stop.

Quickly, he leaned over and pressed his lips gently to hers. The action hadn't been planned. Neither of them had expected it.  
  
Hesitantly, she rapped her arms around her neck, kissing him back with such a hunger that Joren stopped for a moment, surprised. She tugged on his hair impatiently, bringing him back.

If he could've, he would have smiled. However, his lips were too busy doing other things. 

Suddenly, she tore away from him. "What am I doing, what am I doing?" She repeated to herself, almost hysterically, as she collected her wits once more.

He watched her. She sat there, shock plain on her face. Suddenly, she began to cry.

* * *

Wow. That took an interesting turn. I wasn't going to have her cry. I wasn't even expecting this chappie! Sorry for taking so long!

Ah...can anyone imagine a hysteric Kel? That'd be interesting...

Wake-Robin: thanks. not too soon, but still...

Nolee: I know, i really do....i did!

Mustang Gal: thanks.

Pinky: i know! i hated killing him...i cried...glad you liked!

dracorium: i know...

PsychoLioness13: thanks.i rather liked that part too. it was like the perfect comparison.

Lady Eros: I'll try

Allimba: a little?! very much so! anyway, glad you liked. i will

Kit: i knoow, i know...you can, i sweear...i know, i do too...its so...sad....so the goal is to make you cry? i'll try my hardest.

BloodSoakedTiger:was that hm a good or a bad?

Cheerio:sorry! and thanks...and i updated as soon as i could....

Mystical Moon Empress: ty! there is...hey, would you mind terribly if i called you MME? sorry, im lazy...

AMOZON QUEEN 15: Thanks!!!

Addikins: you'll see!


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter One:**

He shifted awkwardly for a moment, wondering what to do. After much struggling, he hesitantly wrapped an arm around her, trying to offer what little comfort he could.

Kel didn't question what he was doing, but instead turned into the embrace and began to sob into his tunic.

Okay…what was he supposed to do?! Inside his mind, he began to freak out. Luckily, his body took over from there, and he was soon stroking her hair and rubbing her back, whispering comforting words into her ear.

After a while, the tears stopped, but still she stayed leaning against his chest, rubbing her cheek on his soft shirt. He didn't dare move, afraid of startling her, making her stop. He wanted her to trust him, to be comfortable with him. He didn't want to scare her away.

Finally, she looked up, eyes red from crying, and mumbled, "I'm sorry." She met his eyes as she said it, but he could sense how uncomfortable she was, how much she wanted to look away from him. He let out a sigh. What could he do to not make her feel like she needed to hide?

Gently, Joren said to her, "There's no need to apologize." He wrapped his arms around her, giving her a small hug. Kel hugged him back fiercely.

They stood in that position for many silent moments.

"Umm….maybe I should go?" It was more a question than a statement, but Joren could clearly hear the uncertainty in her voice.

He didn't want to push her too fast. Instead, he hesitantly released her. "Okay. I'll see you later. And…if you want to talk, I'm here."

The last part, he was unsure of himself. He didn't know if she would listen to him. But he would try.

She just nodded her head and gave him a small smile before making her way to the door. Even after she left, Joren stared at the closed door, wondering what would happen next.

* * *

K, could everyone do me a HUGE favor? my sister just posted a story on Anne Boleyn, called "The Most Happy" on fictionpress. It's really a wonderful short story, but no one has reviewed yet. I would love you guys forever if you would go read and review it!!!!!!! The link is ?storyid1811508.

Thanks!!!!!!!


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